One night when I was in bed, this thought came to me: If Eric suddenly has heart attack, or can’t breath in the middle of the night, what should I do?

I don’t know what I should do. He is right next to me but I won’t know how to help.

Therefore, I decided to learn CPR.

One of the major differences between married and pre-married life for me is the concerns for my mate. I did concern about Eric before the vow, but it was different. I feel the difference.

This guy who sleeps with me every night is my husband. As long as we both live, he is an non-differentiable part of me. When I think/image/plan for anything, he is part of it. When he share his plans/needs/desires/concerns, I consider every single one of them (not necessary satisfying all of them, there is the art of compromising). This is the mind set that is different than before. I knew how I *should* think, I wanted to think this way before. But I no longer ‘know’ or ‘want’ anymore, I do now.

I feel so real.

Besides learning CPR, I decided to stay healthy, too. That way, I will have the physical ability to take care of my family and others, and minimize others’ burden.