I have been stuck in a problem at work for a week. It is finally SOLVED!! The whole problem was, I overlooked one single little part! I was so STUPID!!
This time, it is not careless, but is STUPID. I should have thought about that at the very beginning. But I used a week to check everything ELSE before I check this part. STUPID!
Oh well. During this problem solving period, I did learn something. Read a lot of stuffs.
We went to a wedding yesterday. The celemony was held inside a church, with a pastor be the officiant. I admire that two persons unite in God. While we need so many things to accomplish a marriage, the presence of God is the only thing that can’t go without. This is how I think, and what I long for. A unity in God.
The wedding banquet was a traditional Chinese one. In the thanksgiving section, the bride and the groom thanked their families for the love and care and supports. I thought of my family. They love and care for me, but in a different way. I hardly feel support. I hate the relationship I have with my family. I pictured myself in the wedding. Would my mother and brother and sister happy about me finding the one that I am willing to build my future with? I don’t know. All I could thought of was their sad faces. May be I was too pessimistic, but this was whatI imagined.
I hate that. I really do.
Sometimes I feel I am not functioning. Function means fulfil the purpose or task of one’s existance.
My purpose is to love. I need to love. I feel the need. But I am not functioning.